husband realized this and even let me leave cailey with him for the night on friday and Party with the girls. I know how bad this will sound but DAMN IT FELT GOOD TO BE TWENTY. seriously it felt amazing to just let loose and act my own age for once. It was a great time and although i wouldnt wanna do it every night maybe once a week would be nice HA! anyways i found that good friends
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Beach house = Peace house
so recently my two best friends moved into a beach house for the school year. Cailey and i went over last week and i instantly fell in love. The second i walked through the door every stress of my life left my body and i was at Peace. Even with a screaming baby life was good. It had a calming effect on me and i knew that it is where i belonged. Of course the second i walked through my own front door the stress of mommyhood/ wifehood/ roomatehood was back on but for those 7 hours at the beach house i was carefreeeee.....
husband realized this and even let me leave cailey with him for the night on friday and Party with the girls. I know how bad this will sound but DAMN IT FELT GOOD TO BE TWENTY. seriously it felt amazing to just let loose and act my own age for once. It was a great time and although i wouldnt wanna do it every night maybe once a week would be nice HA! anyways i found that good friends the ocean, and a couPle shots of tequila can really make a stressful life forgotten even if for one night!!
husband realized this and even let me leave cailey with him for the night on friday and Party with the girls. I know how bad this will sound but DAMN IT FELT GOOD TO BE TWENTY. seriously it felt amazing to just let loose and act my own age for once. It was a great time and although i wouldnt wanna do it every night maybe once a week would be nice HA! anyways i found that good friends
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life???
So it feels really darn good to wake up in the morning and sit around in pjs all day with my baby girl. I am still working but only 2 days a week. Its nice to spend the majority of the week with cailey and the other days making a little extra money for some things i want that eric doesnt think are needed.
Cailey has been a big ol' pain in the buttocks lately. MOLARS!!!! She is getting all 4 molars in at once one has poked through but we are still batteling with the other 3. I feel bad for her and for my sanity. I, even after a year, havent mastered the patience needed to be a mother. I blame it on my age. Most twenty year olds have no patience right?? She also has a nasty sounding raspy cough and a yellowy boogery nose. I will bring her in tomorrow even tho i know the doc will just chalk it up to daycare illnesses. One time they gave her a steroid for her lungs because she sounded prepneumonia maybe that will be the outcome again. She is in a wedding next saturday and a yellow boogery nose will not look good in pictures i am quite sure. But even with a boogery nose she will be the cutest little flower girl ever!!
Not to mention she got me sick! I am hoping we both do not have the swine flu. It seems as if someone on eric's boat may or may not have the swine flu. The ombudsmen emailed me this little known fact over a week ago and has not confirmed or denied the illness yet!! How very ombudsmen like THANKS!!!
I found out i got a 94 on my state exam for Nursing Assistant! YAY! GO ME!!! So now i am officially a CNA! Now just to find a job. Which seems to be the hardest part since i need to do days and i can only find places hiring for night shifts. If I cannot find one I am not too worried it would be nice to have some time off to play and spend some time with cailey before she turns into a teenager and learns to despise me.
Eric and I actually had a good talk today. He came home after being at work for 15 hours in a wonderful mood and played with cailey for awhile then went to bed. I recieved a text 3 minutes later that i should come lay with him and talk till he falls asleep. So we just talked and cuddled and acted like an actual happy married couple for about twenty minutes. It was great. And a step in the right direction. I really do not want a failed marriage and if he is willing to try i will not fill out the divorce papers just yet. It is also the first time i have actually gotten to see him in over 4 weeks thanks to the stupid navy. So i will wait and see what comes out of this new attitude change!!
I finally finally got a doctor. i have been putting it off since we moved here. Finally i realized it is not normal to have panic attacks 4 times a day a doctor and a perscription pad is needed to solve the problem. So after making 5 calls to tricare and forty calls to various doctor offices i am finally signed up for a doctor. The wait for new patients is 2-3 weeks so hopefully it will be soon. i used to get panic attacks a lot in highschool never medicated them but i drank a lot which seemed to take care of my anxiety. i really do not want to get back into my hardcore drinking ways. It took me a while to lose the title of alcoholic. and since i overcame all urges to be drunk 24/7 the day i found out i was pregnant with cailey why start up again??
well i have been long winded so i guess i will stop abusing my child and try and get her to sleep somewhere other then on top of me!! When will the molar hell end???
Cailey has been a big ol' pain in the buttocks lately. MOLARS!!!! She is getting all 4 molars in at once one has poked through but we are still batteling with the other 3. I feel bad for her and for my sanity. I, even after a year, havent mastered the patience needed to be a mother. I blame it on my age. Most twenty year olds have no patience right?? She also has a nasty sounding raspy cough and a yellowy boogery nose. I will bring her in tomorrow even tho i know the doc will just chalk it up to daycare illnesses. One time they gave her a steroid for her lungs because she sounded prepneumonia maybe that will be the outcome again. She is in a wedding next saturday and a yellow boogery nose will not look good in pictures i am quite sure. But even with a boogery nose she will be the cutest little flower girl ever!!
Not to mention she got me sick! I am hoping we both do not have the swine flu. It seems as if someone on eric's boat may or may not have the swine flu. The ombudsmen emailed me this little known fact over a week ago and has not confirmed or denied the illness yet!! How very ombudsmen like THANKS!!!
I found out i got a 94 on my state exam for Nursing Assistant! YAY! GO ME!!! So now i am officially a CNA! Now just to find a job. Which seems to be the hardest part since i need to do days and i can only find places hiring for night shifts. If I cannot find one I am not too worried it would be nice to have some time off to play and spend some time with cailey before she turns into a teenager and learns to despise me.
Eric and I actually had a good talk today. He came home after being at work for 15 hours in a wonderful mood and played with cailey for awhile then went to bed. I recieved a text 3 minutes later that i should come lay with him and talk till he falls asleep. So we just talked and cuddled and acted like an actual happy married couple for about twenty minutes. It was great. And a step in the right direction. I really do not want a failed marriage and if he is willing to try i will not fill out the divorce papers just yet. It is also the first time i have actually gotten to see him in over 4 weeks thanks to the stupid navy. So i will wait and see what comes out of this new attitude change!!
I finally finally got a doctor. i have been putting it off since we moved here. Finally i realized it is not normal to have panic attacks 4 times a day a doctor and a perscription pad is needed to solve the problem. So after making 5 calls to tricare and forty calls to various doctor offices i am finally signed up for a doctor. The wait for new patients is 2-3 weeks so hopefully it will be soon. i used to get panic attacks a lot in highschool never medicated them but i drank a lot which seemed to take care of my anxiety. i really do not want to get back into my hardcore drinking ways. It took me a while to lose the title of alcoholic. and since i overcame all urges to be drunk 24/7 the day i found out i was pregnant with cailey why start up again??
well i have been long winded so i guess i will stop abusing my child and try and get her to sleep somewhere other then on top of me!! When will the molar hell end???
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